All Souls’ Day! Let it be dedicated to all my liberated souls! I thought in particular of Marie, who always celebrated this day in silence.
Today, too, I intend to write to the headmistress of the boarding school—may the spirit of the departed souls stand guard over my decision, so that I undertake and do what is right—oh, bless ye all my poor daily task, bless my sacrifice, bless my resolution, ye who are delivered from deception, for our wisdom is but simple-mindedness and our best judgment foolish! — So I choose this day to make my first difficult decision concerning the children; more difficult ones will follow, and I have an ever-diminishing confidence in my own foresight.
If ye accept my greetings, then answer them with blessings, for the burden of existence oppresses a weak mortal unless the invisible inner powers lend him support! . . .
R. works. When he tells me in the afternoon that during this last night he was again wandering about downstairs, he adds, “I can well imagine that after my death my spirit will walk these rooms—what utter foolishness!” I write to the headmistress.
Frau V. Meyendorff sends me a note written by Marie Much., I thank her very sincerely for it, since I have burned all my letters. —
Walk with R., lovely in spite of the gloomy November weather. We argue about Shakespeare, “who saw more deeply than anyone else, because he had greater powers of description.” — In the evening worked with Lusch. At supper the two elder girls talk cheerfully of their going to the boarding school, which stabs their mother—who so fearfully made the decision— to the heart; yet it is better thus, and after all one does want one’s children to accept gratefully what one resolves in their behalf. —
In the evening we read Prof. Overbeck’s new book, which has just arrived (Epistle to Diognetus—about the persecution of the Christians).